Establish. Int Bar. People enjoying themselves.
Int. Bar. A group of four friends (2 girls 2 guys, not in relationships) are eating wings.
Close up on basket. One wing is left. Bob’s hand reaches in. Alice’s hand slaps his.
Alice
Hey! No one just gets to take the last wing. You know the rules.
Bob
Sorry
Charlie
So what’s the challenge?
Darcy
Darts?
Bob
Oh you're on bitch.
Darcy
Don’t call me a bitch you shit eating cum dumpster.
Alice
I think that might have escalated too quickly.
Charlie
That was a little much.
Darcy
Fine. I’ll crush you all anyway.
Bob
Someones cocky.
Alice
That sounds like penis envy.
Charlie
Bob wouldn't know about penises.
Bob
I hope you all die. Lets play. I'm eager to see your faces as I eat the last wing.
Montage of a dart game. Darcy is losing, Bob is winning, Charlie and Alice are in between.
Shot of Darcy's final losing throw.
Darcy
Fucking… Stupid… Gimme my bra back.
Alice
I’m not giving you your bra back now Darcy. We’re in, what’s the word? A gathering of humans…
Charie
A seance.
Bob
No it starts with a P. Pub, pub, pubic? Pubic hair!
Darcy
Ugh. Curse you all.
Charlie
It was a seance!
Darcy storms off to the table and the other 3 return to their game.
Shot of Darcy looking at the wing. Looks to group.
Shot of Darcy’s hand as she grabs the wing
Shot of Darcy leaving with the wing, until she stops in her tracks.
Shot of the Blue Cheese container.
Darcy
Shit.
Shot of Darcy creeping back to the table. As she carefully grabs the blue cheese Alice looks back and sees her.
Cut to Darcy’s recognition of being caught.
Cut to shot of Alice, Bob and Charlie seeing her betrayal.
Cut to Darcy making a run for it.
Shot of hands grabbing darts. The chase is afoot.
Ext. Street. Drone. We see Darcy running as the 3 chase her down the street.
Cut to Darcy slipping over a fence and into a house.
Shot of the three looking at the house.
Alice
Split up.
Shot of the three moving in different directions to enter the house from different points.
Following Alice we see her come upon a door handle. Buffalo sauce is on it. She proceeds inside.
Cut To Bob on the roof.
Cut to Charlie opening a sliding glass door.
Int. House. We follow Charlie as he enters a dark room and searches for a light. Suddenly the light turns on. But Darcy is the one who turned them on.
Darcy
You can’t handle the heat.
Charlie
I’m working my way up to it.
A martial arts battle ensues. I write this in full knowledge that I will the one to choreograph it. Yes, this an area of expertise for me. It ends with Charlie on top of Darcy.
Charlie
Give up the game.
Darcy
I never assumed it would be you to catch me.
Charlie
You made an assumption. And assumptions are the mother of all fuck ups.
Darcy
Did you just quote a Steven Seagal movie at me?
Charlie
What’s wrong with Steven-
Cut to Bob stabbing Charlie in the back with a dart.
Bob
I’m sorry. But there can only be one.
Charlie
Highlander? Fitting. But why?
Bob
I really like those movies.
Charlie
No, why did you stab me in the back?
Bob
Because you don’t even like buffalo sauce.
Charlie.
I was working my way up to…
Charlie dies.
Bob then looks around for Darcy. She’s vanished.
Bob’s face hardens and he heads outside.
Ext. Night. Rain. Bob sees Darcy attempting to flee and chucks dart after dart at her. We see each dart stick into Darcy’s back as she eventually falls to the ground.
Shot of Bob standing over Darcy.
Bob
Who’s the cum dumpster now?
Darcy
Still you.
Bob
Just give the the wing and cheese dammit!
Shot of Bob taking the wing from Darcy. But her other hand is empty. She doesn’t have the blue cheese.
Shot of Bob over Darcy shaking her.
Bob
Where’s the blue cheese, you cum holding… trash can… just, where’s the blue cheese?!
Darcy
Never go full retard.
Bob
What?!
Darcy
Everyone else was doing their favorite quotes. That one is mine.
Darcy dies.
Shot of Bob standing up in the rain. Over his shoulder, a ways back we see Alice.
Cut to shot of her hand, holding the blue cheese.
Cut to shot of Bob holding the wing.
Wide shot of them running at each other throwing their darts, each one finding its mark. Each feel the pain but neither are deterred. Just as they are about to collide Alice delivers a crushing kick to Bob’s balls.
Alice
Who’s got penis envy now?
Bob
… Well not me. (Pause) So? Finish it.
Alice
I thought Christmas only came once a year.
Bob
Did you just quote from the worst Bond film ever?
Alice
And that is the last quote you’ll ever hear.
Alice stabs Bob with a dart, somewhere critical. Bob dies.
Alice
I really don’t even watch movies.
We see Alice dip the wing in the blue cheese and take a bite. We close in on her eyes which register a shock, disgust, then hatred.
Alice
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCH!
Shot of Alice walking back to the restaurant in the rain darts in hand. Death is coming.
END