Listen, I’m going to have to stop you there. I know we just started, but, you see, I can’t stand you and listening to your problems makes me insane. You’re confused about whether you should go back to Equestrian or being a ballerina! Do either! You'll still be rich! Do you know where I was last night? Yeah, neither do I. But I do know that my underwear ended up on the horns of a mounted moose head. Because apparently I befriended a guy named Bubba. Not a nickname! Actual name! It seems I followed his instagram last night which is how I saw my underwear on the internet this morning. And while you’re wondering how I got myself into this, I’m actually wondering where the hell is there a bar in this town with mounted moose heads. And not even because I’m worried about what they think, but because I don’t think there IS a bar like that in town. I was probably in ANOTHER town last night, which will make it nearly impossible to get my underwear back. And yes, this may seem crazy to you, but the point is I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO. Other therapists?! Who do you think was there with me?! People talk a lot about strippers, but have you ever done blow off the back of a therapist? And don't give me the "confused look". Yes the "confused look". You have two looks, bemused acceptance of your laughably wealthy state, and confusion.
Yes confusion! Do you know how ironic it is to be confused about having a confused face?! You didn't understand why people looked down on you for getting a pony as a child! You actually got a pony! Oh, well I suppose you've graduated to three faces with shock. My bad.
So. Uh. How does that make you feel?