Excuse me. Hi. Do you know how I order- Oh you don’t work here. Sorry. My mistake. I didn’t mean to imply you’re wearing a uniform or something. It’s a lovely dress. Did you get it at Nordstrom? I was just there looking for a dress for this date and it looks a lot like some they had. My date’s been here before and knows how to order, but he hasn’t showed up yet- Yeah, no, you should eat before your food gets cold. (Pause) Excuse me. Do you- What? No, I’m not selling anything, I just- Well I’m taking up a table because I’m waiting for my date. He was already supposed to be here actually. No, I don’t know how long he’ll be, he hasn’t responded to any of my texts. Oh, um, sure, you can have the table. It is pretty busy in here. Not like I’ve been waiting for half an hour, but yeah you can have the table. Well, I’m sorry if that was passive-aggressive, but how would you feel if your date stood you up at a restaurant you’ve never been to and everyone is treating you like some crazy woman simply because you don’t know how to order, and heaven forbid you attempt to rely on the kindness of strangers- Good. Good! CALL THE MANAGER! I doubt he even exists! Does anyone actually work here?! What is this place, some futuristic restaurant where everything is automated and you order from touch screens like some robotic- Oh I see, you do order from touch screens. Oh my god this looks delic- Yes sir I was just leaving.